If you’re reading this, that means you’ve been bestowed a great honor.
In fact, you’re the maid of honor! In between feeling thrilled for your BFF and happy about your friendship promotion, you’re probably also feeling a little nervous. We all know the maid of honor is the bride’s right hand gal, but what does the title really entail? Here’s what you can do to be a supportive, understanding, superheroine maid of honor!
The first thing you can do for your BFF bride is say yes to being maid of honor! She’s asked you because she knows you’re the one she wants by her side while she navigates the tricky world of wedding planning. You might be nervous about the time commitment or obligations, but it’s only a few short months of your life you’re giving to the bride to help her plan the celebration of the rest of hers.
Offer Help Before It’s Needed
The maid of honor supports the bride, that much is clear. Whether it’s addressing invitations, picking out a dress, or sampling cakes, you’ll be there to help her make the tough decisions. She’ll ask you for help when she needs it, but she might not always realize when that is. If you see your BFF struggling or suspect she’s beginning to feel overwhelmed, step in. You don’t always have to wait for permission to take some of the burden off. Leave all the important decisions to her, of course, but if there’s anything you can do to lessen her stress, do it.
Plan Relaxation Time
Speaking of feeling overwhelmed, even the calmest of brides will need time to destress. After all, this is a wedding she’s planning! There are a lot of details to iron out, but at the end of the day a wedding is a celebration. Help her get back to a calm state of mind by scheduling in time to relax. Tell her you’re going shopping for wedding favors, but instead take her to a spa! Or maybe you can just stop by with a bottle of wine and let her vent her frustrations.
Accept Differences in Taste
The one thing you should never do as the maid of honor is try to override the bride on anything. This is her wedding, and her decisions are final. If she picks out a dress you don’t like, a cake that’s not to your taste, colors that don’t match your palette, etc. etc., it’s okay. You’re best friends, but you’re not the same person. She’s planning the wedding she wants, and you’re helping her do it. You can give your honest opinion when she asks for it, but if she decides to go her way anyway, let it go and don’t continue to push your ideas.
Be Supportive of the Groom
No trash-talking the groom! Whether you think he’s amazing or has some habits and quirks you’re not a fan of, that’s your best friend’s future husband. Now, this does have some caveats. If you have serious concerns about his behavior or are worried for your friend, don’t keep silent. But if it’s just your personal opinion that your friend deserves better even though the groom seems nice, keep that opinion to yourself. Supporting the bride involves supporting her choice in groom.
Field Questions From Bridesmaids
The bride has a million people asking her a million questions. As maid of honor, you’re also head bridesmaid and in charge of the others. Take on that role and be prepared to get the bridesmaids organized so the bride has one less thing to do. Make sure you’re the first point of contact if any bridesmaid has a question or needs help, and only turn to the bride when you don’t know the answer or there’s a decision best left to her.
Throw Her the Bridal Shower She Wants
This goes along with accepting differences in taste. The bridal shower is her time to celebrate, so it should be all about what she likes and wants. If she has suggestions or tells you outright what she’d like to do, listen! Don’t plan a wild night on the town if she would prefer to stay in with the girls. If she leaves all the details up to you, think about what you think she wants, not what you think she should want. The bridal shower should match the bride’s personality.
Don’t let any of this intimidate you. You’re going to do a great job!
Just keep being the best friend you always have been, be there for the bride when she needs you, and keep some tissues handy, because you’re going to need them when all the planning and craziness concludes in a heartwarming wedding ceremony.