Uninviting guests from your wedding is never something you want to do.
But during the pandemic, you may not have a choice. How do you possibly choose who to drop from your guest list, without forever ruining a relationship? Here are a few tips to make sure you let them down as gently as possible.
1. Tell them you care
A great way to start off this difficult conversation is by telling the person how much they mean to you. No matter who you choose to uninvite, chances are it was someone you love. Tell them how much you love them and how important they are to you. Hearing this will help remind the person of your feelings and that you would never do something to intentionally hurt them.
2. Explain the situation
Of all the reasons to uninvite someone from your wedding, a worldwide pandemic is a pretty crazy one. Most people know that this is an unprecedented time, and that everyone is trying their best to get through it. Explain these things to the person you are uninviting, and make it clear that COVID is the reason. Letting them know it's not personal, but a matter of safety could help them be more understanding as well.
3. Tell them how you feel
While the person you are uninviting knows you are not happy to be doing it, letting that emotion show can also help soften the blow. Telling the person your regret over having to make the decision and being open about those feelings can help that person feel better about it. It may be hard to open up, but it will definitely help the overall situation.
4. Listen to their feelings too
Just as you have certain feelings about uninviting someone, that person may have emotions about it as well. Listening to the person’s disappointment may be difficult, but will show that you are there for them no matter what. It will also show your sincerity that this was not a personal attack, but a tough decision.
5. Make plans for another time
One last thing that may help the person you are uninviting is making plans to be with them for another time. Whether you meet up sometime after the ceremony or wait until the pandemic is over, the uninvited guest will appreciate you wanting to follow up with them and still spend time with them. If you are streaming the wedding, you could also invite them to be a part of the wedding that way.
This is a difficult time in the world, and this is a difficult thing to do, but remember that you are doing the best you can, and try not to be too hard on yourself.
Remember that the ceremony is about marrying the love of your life, and let your love be the focus.