When it comes to dating and engagement timelines, there are many different norms and general guidelines. This can make things tricky, especially if you’re not dating in a traditional or conventional way. No matter what your timeline is, there’s always a point at which you feel totally in love with someone to the point where you know you want to spend the rest of your life with them. This feeling could begin to reveal itself after a few months, a year or even just a few days!
The hard part is knowing whether or not the time is right. Is it too soon? Do you act on your feelings right away or see how things go over the next few months? Both of these questions essentially beg the question: How soon is too soon to propose?
If you’re looking for specific engagement timing advice, it helps to look at the data first. However, take it with a grain of salt. The average engagement time in the U.S. typically hovers around two to five years of dating before a proposal happens. However, averages are just that: averages. They aren't rules.
We’ve seen couples get engaged after three months and stay happily married for decades, and we’ve seen couples date for ten years before realizing they want different things. There’s no magic number for how long to wait before proposing. What matters is the trust, communication, and commitment you share.
Here’s what you need to know about proposing at the perfect time.
Timeline vs. Milestones
What is the perfect time to get engaged? Well, the answer might seem pretty simple, but requires more thought than you might think. Truthfully, there’s no “perfect time” to get engaged by time standards or how long you’ve been dating someone. Instead, think about if you have had monumental moments within your relationship.
Some couples include meeting each other’s families, exchanging promise rings or moving in together as milestones leading up to an engagement. If you have done some or all of these things or have talked about them in depth, you might be ready to propose! If you haven’t done these things or haven’t had deeper conversations regarding the future of your relationship together, you might want to hold off on proposing – at least for a while – so you can experience some of these milestones together as a couple before you get engaged.
If you are still asking yourself, "Is it too soon to get engaged?", try shifting your focus from time to compatibility. You need to look for relationship readiness signs. These are the green flags that tell you your partnership is built to last, regardless of how long you've been together.
Here are a few signs a partner is ready for engagement (and that you are, too):
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You Handle Conflict Well: Do you resolve disagreements with respect and communication, or do you sweep things under the rug? Knowing you can navigate the storms together is a huge sign of readiness.
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You Talk Money: Finances are one of the leading causes of stress in marriage. If you can openly discuss debt, savings goals, and spending habits without a meltdown, you’re ahead of the curve.
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You Share Core Values: Do you want kids? Where do you want to live? What are your religious or political views? You don't have to agree on everything, but you should be aligned on the non-negotiables.
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You’re Past the Honeymoon Phase: It’s easy to want to get married when everything is new and exciting. But true readiness comes when you’ve seen your partner stressed, sick, or grieving, and you still love them just as much.
Communication Is Key
One of the most important parts of any relationship is keeping a good flow of communication between you and your partner. This goes for small things as well as bigger, more important topics. Communicating about your relationship is so vital because you are sharing your life with another person, so knowing how they feel about things is something a relationship cannot lack.
Communication regarding future relationship plans is a step in the right direction when it comes to preparing for a proposal. Communicate with your partner and don’t be afraid to let them know how you feel! If you’re ready to take a new step, whether it be moving in together or getting married, talk to your significant other and make sure they are also on the same page.
Once you’ve established that you’re both on the same page, the logistics start to matter. Deciding when to pop the question involves more than just buying a ring. It requires a bit of strategy.
Here’s a quick before-you-propose checklist to help you finalize your game plan:
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The Family Factor: Does your partner want their family involved? Do you need to ask for a blessing from parents or siblings? Knowing their expectations here is crucial.
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The Vibe: Does your partner love the spotlight, or would a public proposal be their nightmare? Tailor the moment to their personality, not just what looks good on Instagram.
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The Secret Keepers: If you’re planning a surprise, who can you trust to help you? You might need a friend to get your partner to the location without raising suspicion.
These engagement planning tips ensure that when the moment comes, you aren't stressed about the details. You’re just focused on the person standing in front of you.
Get the Ring
This one might seem a bit obvious, but in order to propose, you should have a ring to give to the other person! If you haven’t started the conversation about engagement or looking for engagement rings, that should definitely happen before you pop the question. In terms of time, there’s no right or wrong time to propose as long as you and your partner are in agreement that this is what you want to do. Otherwise, it might be too soon to propose.
Another factor that might inhibit you from getting a ring is budgeting and financial standing. While there are many engagement rings out there, you might not be able to swing it right now, and that’s okay. If you can’t currently afford an engagement ring but you’re ready to take the next step, you might think about purchasing an affordable engagement ring instead. Furthermore, you and your significant other might want to go engagement ring shopping without the immediate intention to buy, just so you can figure out what they like and how much their favorite ring style or cut might cost.
Buying an Engagement Ring 101: Everything You Need to Know
Plan It Out
If you have talked to your partner about wanting to get engaged and you feel like it’s the right time to pop the question, congratulations! It’s time to propose. Once you have the ring, it’s time to plan a proposal they will love. Keep in mind that while there are many fun ways to propose, it doesn’t always need to be over the top. Sometimes, the best proposal is something intimate, low key and reflective of your personal journey as a couple.