Every couple reaches a point in their relationship where the idea of getting engaged begins to float around, but no one is quite brave enough to reach out and grab it.
Fears of it being “too soon” stop a lot of couples from even bringing it up.
But is there really such a thing?
We all have our own opinions on when people should get engaged, and there are numbers popping up around on the Internet and in people’s minds that claim to represent the “right” time. When you’re in a happy and loving relationship, however, all bets are off. Suddenly the “right” time doesn’t seem so straightforward. So, how soon should you get engaged, really?
Ring: The I Do
How Soon Is Too Soon?
Do yourself a favor: if you’re thinking about getting engaged to your partner, don’t ask anyone if it’s “too soon.” Ask five different people, and you’ll get five different opinions. You should absolutely talk to those closest to you about your future, but remember that when you ask for someone’s opinion on a deeply personal matter, they’re giving you their perspective based on their own experiences, not yours.
Sure, we all love to make comments when we read about celebrities getting engaged after a few months (or sometimes weeks!), and these impulsive decisions rarely last. But that’s just it—they’re impulsive. Getting married in Vegas after three months without talking about life goals, career aspirations, opinions on kids, morals, and other vitally important topics probably won’t set you up for a happy marriage.
But getting married after three months knowing where you both want your lives to lead, having discussed things that matter to you, and truly feeling that you’ve found the one for you? Well, that’s something different altogether.
Ring: The Scarlett
What About the “Honeymoon Period”?
There is a real phenomenon that happens in relationships called the “honeymoon period.” This is when you’re still a fairly new couple and have yet to really delve into one another’s quirks and annoying habits. The rush of love is still fresh, and it makes it difficult to identify any problems.
You probably don’t want to get engaged during the honeymoon period. That’s not to say that as soon as the phase is over you’ll realize you hate them, but it’s difficult to sort out the new and exciting feelings from the deeper ones that will last. The honeymoon period can make you think about now and not tomorrow or next week. It can make you overlook signs of incompatibility and hints that the relationship might not last.
Ring: The Evermore
In The End, There is No Timeline
All you have to do is be honest with yourself. Honeymoon period or not, the only way to know if you’re ready to get engaged is to be honest with yourself about how you feel in the relationship. Can you see a future with them? Can you anticipate problems that might lead to bigger issues down the road? Is there anything you’re choosing to overlook that you need to face in order to move forward or move on?
Only you can decide if you’re ready to get engaged. Ignore the length of time you’ve been dating, ignore what everyone else is saying, and listen to what you’re telling yourself. Are you asking because you have doubts, or because you already know the answer?
Ring: The One and Only
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Ring: The Bliss