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Should You Still Ask The Parents Before Proposing?

While some feel that the age-old tradition of “asking for a bride's hand in marriage” is archaic, others disagree.

They may feel that asking permission to marry their child shows respect and that they can trust you will take good care of them.

If you’re planning to propose and you’re still on the fence with this decision, we’ve got your back. We’ve put together five reasons why you should still ask the parents before proposing.

It Shows Respect To The Parents

Woman's left hand wearing The Scarlett on ring finger

Ring: The Scarlett

Choosing to marry someone is a weighty decision! Including the parents on this decision shows that you respect them and their opinion. They know their child the best, and they have lots of wisdom and knowledge that they can give you. Asking them beforehand shows that you recognize this and hold them in high regard.

Her Family Is Very Traditional

Woman's left hand wearing The One and Only

Ring: The One and Only

If her family is more traditional, not asking her dad may cause some friction before you even say I do. Her family may feel left out of the situation, and feel even more distant from the groom if they don’t know him well. Parents who feel that they are “losing” their child may appreciate being included in such a big decision.

The Parents Will See How Committed You Are

Woman's left hand wearing The Victoria and The Zoey

Rings: The Zoey, The Victoria

Asking the parents for permission is never an easy situation. More than likely you’ll be sweating bullets the whole time. However, this shows the parents that you’re committed to their child, and that you’re not here to mess around.

You’ll Receive Support From The Family

Woman's left hand wearing The Grace on ring finger

Ring: The Grace

Including the parents in this decision will likely result in you receiving their blessing, as well as family support. If you need help in the long run, they may be more likely to give advice or other help that may be needed. It will help you start on the right foot with your future in-laws.

Parents Can Be In On The Proposal

Woman holding compact mirror wearing The Belle on left ring finger

Ring: The Belle

It’s no secret that parents love to be in on surprises. Asking for permission before proposing gives them a heads up, and you can include them in the proposal surprise. They might be the help you need to pull off a big day for your future spouse. They’ll appreciate being included on a special day as well!

What decision did you make before proposing? Did you ask the parents, or skip it?


  • Kim Richards

    I’m 59 years young and I just got engaged with a man I’ve known for almost 15 years. We just started dating a year ago. This will be our second marriage. He did ask my father permission to marry me. My father was very impressed by that. I think it’s a wonderful idea.