“I’m in love! I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it!” –Buddy the Elf
Whoa there! Slow down! So you’ve found the perfect partner, have you? If you’re finally ready to settle down with your other half, there’s a few serious questions you need to ask each other.
Here are some things to ask your partner before you two say I Do:
1. Do we both want kids? How many?
Being married is one thing, but adding kids into the mix is an entirely different playing field. You have tiny humans depending on you to keep them alive for goodness sake! You might be open to having plenty of kids, but what if your partner has no interest in changing diapers and raising children? Or what if you only want one or two kids, but your partner wants a whole basketball team? A common misconception is thinking that you can change your partner’s stance later down the line, but that is rarely ever the case.
2. How will we pay + split the bills?
Finances can be a huge stress factor in marriages, and for good reason! Sure money isn’t everything, but it’s used for nearly everything. How will you two split the bills? Will you be sharing a checking account and combining your incomes? How much are you going to save and spend every month? What kind of lifestyle do the two of you want to have, and can you afford it? Money becomes an 'us' matter once you're married – no more my money, your money (unless of course, that's what you two agree on).
3. What are our career goals and how much do they matter to us?
Dream jobs are sensitive topics. Maybe personally it would be a no-brainer if you had to make the choice to stay home with the kids, but would your partner do the same? Asking someone to give up or postpone their career goals is not something to take lightly. Discuss what the other is hoping to achieve in their career and what needs to be done in order to reach that goal. Would you be willing to give up your job if that's what the marriage requires? Could you turn down a career in your dream destination if your partner wanted to stay in your home town? These are things to discuss with one another.
4. How will we face problems together?
Problems in a relationship should not be seen as ‘me versus you’, but rather ‘us versus the problem.’ Do you have a good form of communication? Will you allow each other space to cool off before sitting down and talking, or will you look into attending couple’s therapy when problems arise? There will always be things you disagree on and fights are bound to happen, that is inevitable. What matters is how the two of you will face these problems, together. Once you're married, nothing about your communication & conflict resolution style will magically change. Figure out your system before you walk down the aisle!
Ready for the big I Do?
Rings: The Evermore set, The Elite
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