In the world of wedding rings and all things adjacent to them, promise rings are the new kid on the block. The Ancient Romans weren’t exactly handing out promise rings as a pre-engagement. While hardly a novelty at this point, these types of commitment rings are still the newest addition. As such, there aren’t many hard and fast rules about the meaning of a promise ring, though it’s generally a show of commitment.
What Is a Promise Ring?
A promise ring tends to be a show of commitment to your significant other. The idea is that while you aren’t yet engaged, it shows your desire for a future engagement. It’s a popular step among couples who are younger or less financially stable but still want to offer a show of fidelity and commitment to a loved one.
Promise rings, like all symbols of commitment, tend to be popular to give and receive around Valentine’s Day. However, it’s perfectly fair game to give a promise ring at any time, such as a dating anniversary, the anniversary of your first date or some other special occasion that you want to memorialize.
Promise Rings vs. Engagement Rings
While both promise rings and engagement rings symbolize commitment, they differ in several ways. In terms of the level of commitment, promise rings generally represent a general commitment, while engagement rings signify intent to marry.
A few other ways in which promise rings differ from engagement rings include:
- Design: Most engagement rings feature a prominent diamond solitaire or another large gemstone. However, promise rings tend to be simpler with simple gemstones or no stones at all.
- Timing: Promise rings are given earlier in relationships, while engagement rings come when a couple is ready to tie the knot.
- Ceremony: Giving a promise ring is usually private. On the other hand, couples often celebrate engagements with family and friends.
So, What Finger Does a Promise Ring Go on?
Though they are similar in sentiment, a promise ring is often given in lieu of an engagement ring, especially if the couple is young or unprepared to take a step toward marriage. Rather, it is a ring that signifies the couple’s desire to be together long-term, with or without the legally binding contract of marriage. Unlike engagement rings, however, the rules and traditions surrounding promise rings are far less rigid, including the standard promise ring styles, where they are worn and how you gift it.
But Seriously, What Finger Do You Wear a Promise Ring on?
Where a promise ring is worn ultimately depends on the true meaning of the ring for the person wearing it. Typically, if the ring is given with the intent to become formally engaged at a later time, placing the ring on your fourth finger on your left hand is appropriate. If the style of the promise ring is cohesive with the wedding jewelry that follows, you may continue to wear it on the same ring finger as part of a complete stack or ring set. However, if the design is conflicting with the engagement ring or wedding band, many will choose to continue wearing their promise ring on another finger or not at all.
If an engagement is not planned or looming, however, the promise ring would traditionally be worn on the right ring finger. Wearing it on the right hand rather than the left hand helps to eliminate any confusion of those outside the couple who may otherwise believe them to be formally engaged upon seeing the ring on the left hand. Although the right ring finger is the most common placement for a promise ring, the truth is that it can be worn on any finger on either hand. Some people wear promise rings on their middle fingers or index fingers to distinguish them from traditional bridal jewelry. It is a personal choice for whoever is wearing it. Whether you choose to wear your promise ring on the ring finger of the left hand or somewhere else, it’s perfectly acceptable. There’s really no wrong answer to “What finger does a promise ring go on?”
In some cases, people have even chosen not to wear it on their hands at all, opting instead to wear it as a pendant on a necklace or a charm on a bracelet. Similar to those who choose to wear a promise ring as a sort of pre-engagement ring on their fourth finger of their left hand, if someone wearing the promise ring in an alternative location, like a necklace, were to become engaged, they could choose to continue wearing the promise ring or remove it.
A Quick Note on Claddagh Rings
Sometimes, partners use Claddagh rings as promise rings. A traditional Irish ring representing love, loyalty and friendship, the Claddagh ring has a distinct ring design and the placement of it on the wearer’s hands has a specific and precise meaning. The ring design consists of two hands holding a heart upon which rests a crown. The hands symbolize friendship, the heart is love and the crown is loyalty. Traditionally, these rings were used as engagement and wedding rings. Over time, their placement has evolved to create new meanings.
First, if the ring is worn on the right hand with the point of the heart toward the fingertips, the wearer is single and might be looking for love. When worn in the opposite direction, the wearer is not looking for love, though that could mean they are in a relationship or single and just not interested. If, however, the ring is worn on the left ring finger with the point of the heart toward the fingertips, that person is engaged. Upon being wed and exchanging wedding rings, the wearer would flip the ring around to represent their marriage.
Why a Promise Ring?
As you can see, answering the question of “what finger does a promise ring go on” can depend on why it was given in the first place. While a promise ring is most often meant to symbolize the romantic relationship between two people, that is not the only representation it may have. Some of the most common reasons to give a promise ring include:
- Pre-Engagement: Couples who are very committed to one another and ultimately intend to get married may choose to exchange promise rings as a representation of their dedication. There are a variety of reasons which may contribute to the decision to delay an engagement such as age, waiting for life milestones such as graduating college or other life goals the couple would like to achieve before making official plans to marry. A promise ring may also be used as a placeholder until one partner saves up to purchase a formal engagement ring.
- Religion: A far less conventional reason to have a promise ring serves as a symbol or act of devotion to one’s faith. In this case, the ring is often given to oneself and can be worn as a representation of the commitment an individual is making to a particular spiritual path or specific teachings that are meaningful to the wearer. A religious promise ring, however, may not include a promise of chastity, which would put it in the category of purity rings.
Types of Promise Rings
The placement of your promise ring may also depend on the type or style of ring you choose. Ever wondered what a promise ring is supposed to look like? Whether you opt for a rose gold eternity ring or a minimalist yellow gold band, there are no firm requirements when it comes to choosing the ring. If, however, it is meant to be a pre-engagement ring, it is generally understood that it should be cheaper and less ornate than the eventual engagement ring. Some of the most popular styles include:
- Infinity Knot: Representing eternal love and fidelity, this ring would feature one or more interwoven knots resembling the infinity symbol or a tied bow. This design is most often used for pre-engagement or monogamy promise rings, though it is always recognized as a symbol of the strong relationship and love for one another between a boyfriend and a girlfriend.
- Heart: A simple and quite literal symbol used to reflect the love a couple has for one another, the most commonly seen heart-shaped ring consists of a simple gold or sterling silver band with a heart at the centerpiece. More elaborate versions of this type of ring may include diamonds, gemstones or other precious metals. These rings are most often used to represent a pre-engagement commitment.
- Plain Band: This simple yet elegant ring is a plain band with no design or stones set into it. The unornamented look of this ring lends itself nicely to all purposes of the promise ring and is commonly worn by males.
- Engraved: In this case, the rings will be embellished with some sort of carving, whether that be a pattern on the ring’s exterior or a partner’s name inside the band. An engraving can also be added to another style to add a personal touch and increase the attachment between the couple and the ring itself.
- Interlocking: One of the most popular styles for promise rings, these rings are designed to fit together when placed next to one another. They symbolize that each person who wears one is part of a larger whole when they are together, making them a popular choice for pre-engagement or monogamy rings.
- Gemstones: Increasing in popularity is the notion that a promise ring should be a more statement-making fashion piece of jewelry. Since engagement rings are typically diamonds, the promise ring provides the opportunity to incorporate other gemstones and birthstones that might otherwise be overlooked. This style adds to the flexibility of the promise ring, allowing for plenty of individuality and can be used for nearly any purpose of the promise ring.
For each of these designs, the ring could be worn nearly anywhere, but certain styles may be viewed best with specific placements. For example, a plain band worn on the left ring finger would often be mistaken for a wedding band. Though that is fine should you choose to wear your promise ring there, wearing it on a different finger would eliminate the possibility of such confusion.
Similarly, with the rise of non-diamond engagement rings, a gemstone ring worn on the left ring finger might also cause confusion. While others mistaking the purpose or intention of your ring may not seem like a big deal, it could become irritating to be asked about your engagement constantly.
Promise Rings and Gemstones
As mentioned previously, promise rings offer a lot more flexibility than engagement rings when it comes to gemstones. Not sure what type of gemstone to choose for your partner’s promise ring? If you love diamonds but want something a bit more unique, colored diamonds are an excellent choice. Sapphires, rubies and emeralds are popular, too.
Some couples choose rings featuring both partners’ birthstones or the ring recipient’s birthstone. Alternative stones like amethyst, opal, topaz, morganite and rose quartz also work well.
Since just about any type of gemstone is appropriate for a promise ring, couples can choose jewelry that reflects their personal preference or holds special meaning.
Buying and Giving a Promise Ring
As you consider the type of promise ring you would like, it is also important to understand how the various options will impact the price of the ring. While traditional promise rings were often made of precious metals such as gold or sterling silver, modern rings can be made out of nearly anything. For example, some may choose to purchase rings made of a synthetic material like silicone which is flexible, durable and very affordable at a price point of around $15 to $30.
Alternatively, natural materials like wood will elevate the look of the ring while keeping the price manageable or selecting a ring made of gold, platinum or tungsten will dramatically increase the price. The priciest of rings will consist of precious metals as well as gemstones or diamonds and could cost thousands of dollars. If you don’t know where to buy a promise ring, make sure you do your research and choose a place that offers high-quality products at affordable prices.
What to Do with Your Promise Ring After You Tie the Knot
As your relationship progresses from a promise to an engagement to a wedding, you might wonder what to do with your original promise ring. Again, it largely comes down to personal preference. If it matches your engagement and wedding ring, you could wear it as part of a stack. If not, consider wearing it on a different finger or converting it into a necklace pendant. There’s also nothing wrong with tucking it away in your jewelry box and hanging on to it as a keepsake of your relationship’s early days.
Promise Ring Placement: You Choose
So, what hand does a promise ring go on? Part of the appeal of a promise ring is that it can mean a variety of things to many people. The nature of the ring gives you the flexibility to decide what it represents to you and your partner. While many choose to wear it on one of their ring fingers, and most often on the right hand, each individual should feel comfortable wearing their promise ring wherever and however they want to symbolize best the commitment they are making.