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a close up of a couples hands wearing matching gold wedding bands

From ancient matchmakers to dating apps, compatibility has been the name of the game when it comes to joining two people together. For an equally long time, the tradition of exchanging wedding rings has gone hand in hand with an exchange of marriage vows. So is it meaningful for the wedding bands themselves to match? And do wedding bands HAVE to match? Here’s an answer that has driven matchmaking algorithms crazy for generations: It depends on the couple and their personal style.

Every marriage is its own unique balance of public partnership and intimate mystery, and no one’s fate depends on a jeweler’s inventory. But since we are in the online jewelry store business, we’ve seen a thing or two about how couples choose to symbolize their love. So, we thought we’d share what we’ve observed about the choice to match his and her wedding bands.

It’s OK to Have Different Styles and Tastes

It’s OK to like different things as long as you still like each other. Just because the two of you don’t have the same top five favorite movies, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Just because one of you likes a simple bit of silver and the other prefers lavishly ornamented yellow gold, it doesn’t disqualify you as soulmates. Likewise, every metal looks better on some people than others. There’s no need to wear a ring that doesn’t suit you just because you and your partner have different skin tones. Honor your personal choices and style by choosing bridal jewelry you love.

Really, just upfront, you can have two wildly different rings. There’s no rule that says you absolutely have to have matching bands. Maybe one of you loves the sleek look of tungsten and the other is looking for the classic gold ring. A gold band and that metal type don’t particularly match, nor do they really complement each other, but that’s perfectly fine! Maybe one of you has sensitivities to certain precious metals while the other doesn’t. Whatever the case, you’re more than welcome to just pick rings you each like. There’s no need to sacrifice your personal style or forgo comfort just so you can wear matching wedding bands. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, so by all means, choose something you love and will want to wear for several decades. 

Sometimes Compatible Means Complementary

If you had to wear the same thing as proof of marriage, then both the bride and groom would wear a tux on the wedding day. And both men and women would wear engagement rings. Obviously, that doesn’t have to be the case (though it’s perfectly okay if you do prefer doing those things!). And if matching rings were mandatory, a groom’s wedding bands wouldn’t typically be plainer than the bride’s. So if one of you wants to shop for a white gold eternity band because you know your love will go the distance and the other wants a hypoallergenic metal ring, both sound like good reasons to us! And if you’re interested in different metals, then take a look at our catalog of men’s wedding bands

Shop Our Men’s Wedding Bands

It’s OK to Share Things in Common

You’ve got the same home address. You get under the same set of sheets. You love matching outfits. Not only is your list of favorite films identical, but a shared passion for the cinema was a key component of your courtship.  

And, wouldn’t you know it, you’ve got the same taste in jewelry, too. Don’t be embarrassed! This isn’t like when you change your drink order so it doesn’t seem like you are blindly copying your blind date. You’re married, for goodness sake. Say “We’ll both have the Rosé” to your waiter and rose gold to your jeweler, and toast the life you share together. There’s no reason you can’t wear matching rings if that’s what you prefer. 

the mia and the infinity wedding bands in rose gold

Featured: The Mia in Rose Gold and The Infinity in Rose Gold

It’s also OK to Meet Each Other Halfway

Maybe you like the same movies but for different reasons. Or maybe you share the same palate when it comes to food but operate from different ends of the palette when it comes to clothes. Meeting in the middle isn’t a compromise — it’s how people fit their lives together. After all, no two people on the planet agree about everything and have all the exact same tastes and preferences. Maybe you both share a fondness for rose gold but have extremely different ring finger sizes. Choose a common element and enjoy the comfort of a different fit. 

Going this route actually opens up tons of avenues for creativity. Maybe your yellow gold inlay matches the main color of her engagement ring. Maybe they’re the exact inverse of each other. Forcing yourselves to meet halfway may not sound like the flashiest idea, but it’s those kinds of constraints that can bring out the greatest creativity.

Just Make Sure the Compromise Works for Both of You

You will wear these bands for the rest of your life. So if a common theme doesn’t work for both of you, don’t resign yourself to it. And don’t let trying to find a perfect compromise put a damper on your wedding plans. It’s really not that big of a deal! You know what will look good on both of you? The satisfaction of being pleased with something you plan on wearing for decades. So, be sure to honor your personal style when shopping for wedding bands. 

Consider Your Personalities

When it comes to choosing wedding bands, considering your personalities as a couple can be the key to finding the perfect fit — both literally and figuratively. Are you both minimalists who appreciate clean lines and understated elegance? A set of classic plain bands in platinum or white gold might be ideal. Or, perhaps you’re a couple who thrives on self-expression and individuality. You could explore bands with unique textures, mixed metals or even colored gemstones that reflect your vibrant personalities.

Your personalities don’t have to perfectly align for you to find matching or complementary bands. Maybe one of you is a nature enthusiast, and the other is drawn to geometric designs. You could find a beautiful compromise with bands that incorporate organic textures like wood inlays or brushed finishes alongside geometric patterns or rose gold accents. 

Ultimately, the rings you choose should feel authentic to you as a couple, and they should be a unique reflection of the love story you’re building together. Making sure that each ring matches its wearer and their preferences is much more important than choosing rings that are identical to each other. 

A Matching Set — with Some Alternates

Maybe one of you works in a hospital. Or is a gym rat. Or both! Maybe you both rock that matching his and hers set when you are coordinating for your Christmas photo, but, if one of you is on a business trip and the other one is catching a morning surf session, don’t worry if you are asking different things from your wedding jewelry. Buy an extra set of travel or workout rings. This is a simple halfway point between a traditional choice of matching wedding rings and getting a pair that looks completely different from the other. Plus, if you change your mind on the look of your travel ring, it’s inexpensive to get a different color.

a couple wearing the infinity and the eternity wedding bands in silver

Featured: The Eternity in Silver and The Infinity in Silver

Your left hand shouldn't be a source of contention before you’re married. Unless, of course, you’re wearing your wedding bands on the right hand — but you get the idea. Rings are a beautiful symbol of lifelong commitment but they shouldn’t be a source of contention before you’re even married. Tastes change, and maybe a few years later, you’ll want something matching as an anniversary ring.

If you like, you can forgo the rings altogether and choose some simple everyday jewelry or matching necklaces. Get matching earrings if that’ll help you compromise. The point is that the ring is only the symbol of the union, not the focal point of the whole thing.

It’s more important for you and your partner to be on the same page about your relationship than it is for you to have similar rings. But if matching wedding bands are a moving symbol or just a fun reminder of the love that unites you, then go for it! Ultimately, the perfect wedding bands to celebrate your marriage are ones you both love — whether they are matching wedding rings or not. Embrace your individual styles when choosing rings, and save the compromises for more important things, like deciding what elements to include in your wedding ceremony. 

Check Our Entire Selection of Women’s Engagement Rings