From ancient matchmakers to Match.com, compatibility has been the name of the game when it comes to joining two people together. For an equally long time, the tradition of exchanging rings has gone hand in hand with an exchange of marriage vows. The rings are meant to be a visible symbol that a couple is matched together forever. So is it meaningful for the wedding bands themselves to match? Here’s an answer that has driven matchmaking algorithms crazy for generations: It depends on the couple. And on what you mean by “match.” Allow us to explain.
Every marriage is its own unique balance of public partnership and intimate mystery, and no one’s fate depends on a jeweler’s inventory. But since we are in the jewelry business, we’ve seen a thing or two about how couples choose to symbolize their love. So we thought we’d share what we’ve observed about the choice to match his and hers wedding bands.
It’s OK to Have Different Tastes
It’s OK to like different things, as long as you still like each other. Just because the two of you don’t have the same top 5 favorite movies, it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Just because one of you likes a simple bit of silver and the other prefers lavishly ornamented gold, it doesn’t disqualify you as soulmates.
Sometimes Compatible Means Complementary
If you had to wear the exact same thing as proof of marriage, the bride who shows up for a wedding in black overalls would be in trouble the moment she spotted the groom in a tuxedo. One of you wants to shop for an eternity band because you know your love will go the distance. The other wants to carve a ring from the oak tree where they proposed. Both sound like good reasons to us! And if carving your own ring is harder than you thought, we’ll just mention that wood is in our catalog of men’s wedding bands.
It’s OK to Share Things in Common
You’ve got the same home address. You get under the same set of sheets. You love matching outfits. Not only is your list of favorite films identical, but a shared passion for the cinema was a key component of your courtship.
You’re still in delighted shock that you can end every evening by slipping into matching pajamas, splitting a pint of Rocky Road and tackling a Netflix cue with your beloved.
And, wouldn’t you know it, you’ve got the same taste in jewelry too. Don’t be embarrassed! This isn’t like when you change your drink order so it doesn’t seem like you are blindly copying your blind date. You’re married, for goodness sake. Say “We’ll both have the Rosé” to your waiter and rose gold to your jeweler, and toast the life you share together.
It’s OK to Meet Each Other Half-Way
Maybe you like the same movies but for different reasons. Or maybe you share the same palate when it comes to food but operate from different ends of the palette when it comes to clothes. Meeting in the middle isn’t a compromise; it’s how people fit their lives together. Maybe you both share a fondness for rose gold but have extremely different finger sizes. Choose a common element and enjoy the comfort of a different fit.
Just Make Sure the Compromise Works for Both of You
Or maybe you both love the same color but it doesn’t flatter you equally well. This isn’t a bridesmaid situation, where the bride picks the color and style and everybody wears it for a day — even if it doesn’t look good, because this is her special day.
You are going to be wearing these bands for the rest of your life. So if a common theme doesn’t work for both of you, don’t resign yourself to it. You know what will look good on both of you? The satisfaction of being pleased with something you plan on wearing for decades.
A Matching Set — with Some Alternates
Maybe one of you works in a hospital. Or is a gym rat. Or both! Maybe you both rock that matching his and hers set when you are coordinating for your Christmas photo, but, if one of you is on a business trip and the other one is catching a morning surf session, don’t worry if you are asking different things from your wedding jewelry. Buy an extra set of travel or workout rings.
It’s more important for you and your partner to be on the same page about your relationship than it is for you to have similar rings. But if matching wedding bands are a moving symbol or just a fun reminder of the love that unites you, then go for it!