It's a valid question; who buys the man's wedding band? A century ago that would have been a non-question because back then most Western men simply didn't wear them. Even seventy years ago it would still have been cause for heated debate because we lived in an age of patriarchy.
During those times, not only were men thought of as "in control", but they also bore more fiscal responsibility. That basically meant most men would have been offended if a woman had to buy them a wedding band.
Fortunately, as time has passed and humanity has become more enlightened, customs have changed. Traditions have evolved. Society's perceptions have shifted, as have people's expectations.
In today’s world, there are now several scenarios that have become commonplace when buying men’s wedding rings. There’s no perfect answer here, it’s really up to the soon-to-be-married couple. Each couple must decide for themselves which option works best for them.
Both women and men wear wedding rings as a sign of eternal love and commitment to one another. If a man is a traditionalist, he may choose to buy his own wedding ring, as well as the bride's ring. Some guys may find that they want to personally choose a specific style and design when shopping for men’s wedding rings. It can also be for financial reasons as well if your partner earns less than you. This stems from a time when most women were of much lesser means than men. It’s also the more logical choice, especially if you are a man that has a substantially higher income level than your fiancée. There’s no need for her to spend money she can’t afford.
In some cases, especially when both the bride and groom have very specific expectations, each will buy his or her own ring. If you are only looking at modern men’s wedding bands and are very particular, you may want to be the one that selects your ring. This happens often with people who know exactly what they want out of life and aren’t afraid to go after it. In another scenario, couples who make plenty of their own money and want to keep their finances separate may decide to make their ring purchases separate, too.
Seventy years ago, people would have frowned upon a man who would allow a woman to buy his wedding ring. After all, who should buy the man's wedding band, other than himself?
Fortunately, our society has grown in its thinking. While we still value success and money, the importance of establishing social classes has diminished. People of means have little interest in status. Women are more successful than ever, and it’s no longer an admission of incompetence if a man accepts a wedding ring bought for him by his future wife.
The reality is that deciding who buys the man's wedding band boils down to who has the money to do it. If a woman has the means and desire to buy a wedding ring for the groom, and the groom is fine with it, so be it. There is no reason to let tradition or cultural constraints stand in the way of a happy marriage.
Among progressive couples of similar financial means, you could always agree to buy a wedding band for each other. This practice is not without significance. Each ring is basically a gift to the other person. That means it’s given with love and worn as a symbol of your future marriage. On a deeper level, it also means that both the man and woman are willing to accept what the other has to offer, without letting their egos get in the way.
Think of it as a statement of equality in the relationship. There is no expression of dominance or control because everything works both ways, including wedding ring purchases.
When deciding who is going to purchase a man’s wedding band, one trend has become increasingly prevalent.
Instead of each person buying a ring on their own and hoping the other one likes it, many couples today are choosing to shop for wedding rings together. The two of you may even go for matching wedding band sets that are made from the same metal.
While it might not have quite the same romantic appeal, there’s definitely an argument to be made for practicality. By jewelry shopping together, each person will have some input about what their wedding and engagement ring will look like. Both of you can explore different styles and designs together, and choose rings that suit you both. That way you guys can review your options as a couple and choose a design and style that will fit with your expectations.
In this day and age, there really shouldn’t even be a question of who buys the wedding ring for the groom. The true question should be whether you love that person enough to be with them forever, through better and worse. This piece of jewelry is just a symbol of that love and commitment.
If the answer is a confident "Yes,” it doesn’t matter who pays for what for the wedding day. The choice really is yours as a couple.
Twenty years from now, nobody (except perhaps you) will even remember. But everybody who sees you wearing your wedding band will know that your commitment remains strong and true. We call that the mark of a great marriage.
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